Around the Campfire Pt.3


So, after angsting about Eragon's fate of having to marry a beautiful, hot, sexy, elf chick instead of some human women he mentions that he wish they could have put off rescuing Katrina for a few days so that he could heal some and regain their magical energy. \~/

Yes, that's right. They're going into a battle with foes who are stronger than them and they haven't regained their magic powers that would keep them energized and capable in the fight without dropping from exhaustion. \~/ Paolini here is setting Eragon up for failure. He took Eragon's sword away and then made sure he's not gotten any rest. I think this is Paolini trying to make Eragon seem vulnerable and in danger, but to me it means he lacks common sense. It could be argued that Eragon is supposed to be rash and unthinking, but he hasn't shown this character trait before. And even so, Roran or someone else, like Saphira should have said we need to wait to go because it won't do Katrina any good if we try to rescue her and we're not at our best. Sure, it makes the trial more difficult, but in the end it's a failure that could have been avoided.\~/\~/

And then they start comparing bruises.

No. Really.


  • Loosening the ties on the cuff of his left shirtsleeve, he pushed back the soft lámarae—a fabric the elves
  • made by cross-weaving wool and nettle threads—revealing a rancid yellow streak where his shield had mashed
  • against his forearm.


\~/\~/


  • [Roran] unlaced his left boot, pulled it off, and rolled up the leg of his trousers to expose a black stripe > as wide as Eragon’s thumb that slanted across his quadriceps.


\~/\~/


Then it's Eragon taking his shirt out of his trousers to expose his stomach and Roran showing bruises from falling down some rocks. And then Eragon drops his pants.

No. Really.


  • He removed both his boots, then stood and dropped his trousers, so that his only garb was his shirt and
  • woolen underpants. “Top that if you can,” he said, and pointed to the inside of his thighs. A riotous
  • combination of colors mottled his skin, as if Eragon were an exotic fruit that was ripening in uneven
  • patches from crab apple green to putrefied purple.



Revel in that. He drops his trousers in front of his cousin to show off a bruise that goes all the way up to his groin. Which is probably hairless. That's a bottle isn't it? |~|

See this wouldn't be so bad, if they weren't doing a strip tease before hand, showing off their various body parts in an attempt to prove who's was bigger. And he dropped his trousers in front of his cousin in this strip tease. Roran even admits at the end that the bruise that goes all the way up to Eragon's groin area is the biggest.

How am I not supposed to take that the wrong way? Sure the text says one thing, but the subtext says another thing. And it's rather like a pair of boys in the bathroom comparing penises and jerking each other off. Except they're cousins. Oh, and don't forget that Saphira is watching this the entire time. So now it's become voyeuristic as well as incestuous. You don't need to drop your trousers to prove that you have a bruise up your leg to your groin. You don't. You can just make with the gesturing. \~/\~/\~/

Roran takes off his shirt to show off his Ra'zac bite. Eragon still hasn't pulled his pants back on. I wonder if Paolini forgot to have him do it.

It gets worse.

No, really.

The bite that Roran has makes it difficult for him to move his arm. Eragon doesn't know if he should try and heal it because of the energy it would cost him. He does this while holding his staff -that Roran gave him- tightly in his hands and twisting it. \~/ \~/
\~/



  • Eragon twisted the staff between his hands.Should I? he asked Saphira.


Let us look back on this:

1. They were undressing to show off who has the bigger bruise.
2. Eragon drops his pants and proves that his is the biggest.
3. Eragon doesn't put his pants back up.
4. Roran shows him his back, taking off his own shirt.
5. Eragon twists the staff that Roran gave him while looking at his cousin's back.

There is nothing at all homoerotic about this. None. Zero. Zilch. There is no homoerotic subtext here at all of two boys, one twisting his cousin's large staff in his hands with his pants down. Paolini might as well give up all pretense here and just write the Porn. He clearly wants to. AND as he wasn't writing this part on the computer having taken up pen and paper, he was writing with one hand. The subtext here just gets piled on like a bunch of hot sweaty men in an orgy. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/

Getting back to the um non-erotic parts, Saphira thinks that Eragon should heal Roran. But he's reluctant because he doesn't have the energy to do so. Saphira then says, well steal it from the life around you. Eragon doesn't want to, because he thinks that an ants life is more important that his cousin's and Katrina's life.


  • Our lives are more important than an ant’s,Saphira countered.

  • Not to an ant.




He's putting this ant's life, these random ants lives who he doesn't even know over that of his family. His family and the people he's supposed to protect. See, if he doesn't take this ant's life then he'll heal Roran and have even less energy to protect himself in the upcoming fight. If the doesn't protect himself he could get seriously injured. If he gets seriously injured then he might die. If he dies then there goes the Varden's hope to defeat Galby and the Evil Overlord wins. It's okay to enjoy violence on killing people, but some random ant (of which he probably stepped on a lot while walking) no its not.

Eragon has taken the lives of thousands of people he didn't know by slaughtering them willy nilly. He would be doing the same thing with the ants and other plants. But the ants aren't okay. The people are.

Paolini is trying to make Eragon look humane here, but he comes off as callous. He doesn't care enough about his family to help them. It seems, like using this logic, he wouldn't slaughter a cow if that was the only food around that they could eat because the cow's life is important to the cow. At this point, Eragon should just up and kill himself because that way he wouldn't be harming any lives, plant or animal, and he'd be providing food for the plants and animals.

Isn't that what he wants?

\~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/

He does decide to use the animals and plants to help heal Roran, but his reluctance to do so keeps my point solid. He shouldn't be reluctant, he should have done it without hesitation. "Least," as he says, "your injury cost you your life or endanger the rest of us.” \~/

Oh, by the way, Eragon's pants? Still down. \~/

So now Eragon, with his pants down, has Roran come over so that he can heal his cousin's wounds, by putting his hand on it.

He kills two birds and a snake and, "dies three times". What about those people that he killed before hand, the Urgals and humans that he killed by the dozens? He even cries over it. I don't recall him crying at all over the messenger that Saphira randomly killed after he came for parlay. Someone who came in peace and the expectation of leaving in peace. I remember him reveling during the battle of the burning plains on how he caused death so easily.

So while these three animals are cause to cry over, the humans?

Apparently they mean jack shit. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/

Gosh, Eragon is the Hero I want to be he is.

Eragon briefly is jealous of Roran's muscles. I see nothing wrong with this I don't. *sniggers*

His pants? Still down. \~/

He feels like he's going to throw up from killing those animals so he asks Roran for some bread. In a remarkable realistic action (of sorts) he tries to go for the bottle to drown the way the pain of killing someone. Realistic, if it weren't some animals. Saphira stops him though.

I think it would have been interesting to see Eragon become a drunk of such a thing... but that would be interesting. \~/

His pants? Still down.

Roran gets him the sourdough bread and then decides instead to offer him meat on a stick.

No. Really.

Keep in mind, Eragon's pants? Are still down.


  • Roran removed a ragged half of sourdough bread from his bags, then paused and, with a hint of a smile, said, > “Wouldn’t you rather have some venison? I didn’t finish all of mine.” He held out the makeshift spit of
  • seared juniper wood, on which were impaled three clumps of golden brown meat. To Eragon’s sensitive nose,
  • the odor that wafted toward him was thick and pungent and reminded him of nights he had spent in the Spine
  • and of long winter dinners where he, Roran, and Garrow had gathered around their stove and enjoyed each
  • other’s company while a blizzard howled outside. His mouth watered. “It’s still warm,” said Roran, and waved > the venison in front of Eragon.

  • With an effort of will, Eragon shook his head. “Just give me the bread.”

  • “Are you sure? It’s perfect: not too tough, not too tender, and cooked with the perfect amount of seasoning. > It’s so juicy, when you take a bite, it’s as if you swallowed a mouthful of Elain’s best stew.”

  • “No, I can’t.”

  • “You know you’ll like it.”

  • “Roran, stop teasing me and hand over that bread!”

  • “Ah, now see, you look better already. Maybe what you need isn’t bread but someone to get your
  • hackles up, eh?”

  • Eragon glowered at him, then, faster than the eye could see, snatched the bread away from Roran.
  • That seemed to amuse Roran even more. As Eragon tore at the loaf, he said, “I don’t know how you
  • can survive on nothing but fruit, bread, and vegetables. A man has to eat meat if he wants to keep his
  • strength up. Don’t you miss it?”

  • “More than you can imagine.”

  • “Then why do you insist on torturing yourself like this? Every creature in this world has to eat other
  • living beings—even if they are only plants—in order to survive. That is how we are made. Why attempt to defy > the natural order of things?”


Meat on a stick, swallowing stew that tastes just as good as meat on a stick. A man needs to eat meat and Eragon misses it.

There's nothing really more than I can say in regards to this. Honestly, I can't think of anything that can encompass the sheer innuendo and horror that this passage brings up. \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/ \~/

And it gets worse.

Saphira? Likes Roran's meat, and she wants more of it.

  • Mmm. You did not exaggerate, she said to Roran. What a sweet and succulent morsel: so soft, so salty, > so deliciously delectable, it makes me want to wiggle with delight. You should cook for me more often, Roran > Stronghammer. Only next time, I think you should prepare several deer at once. Otherwise, I won’t get a
  • proper meal.

She wants Roran's meat and she wants a lot of it. She's no longer satisfied with the meat Eragon makes her have. It makes her wiggle with delight after she's taken Roran's stick of meat into her mouth. I don't know... the subtext of this is horrifying. Dreadful. So erotic that you just can't miss it. \~/ \~/ \~/

Eragon's trousers? Still down.

Roran doesn't know what to do. Eragon and Saphira laugh at him.

We never see Eragon pull his pants up.

Saphira and he have a conversation about "he" being in the Evil Blood Drinking Mountain and what Eragon should do if he is there. I don't know who he is though, so this passage only confuses me.

It's supposed to be philosophical and deep as Saphira says she'd tear him limb from limb but Eragon needs to figure out what he should do. But it fails by not giving us the crucial information. I think he's talking about Sloan but it's been so long that Sloan was mentioned that it could be anyone.

The chapter ends with him going to sleep. \~/

This chapter is complete and utter filler. There's no reason why it should be here as it completely stalls the story. We don't want to watch Eragon and Roran have homoerotic subtext with each other, we want to have them go and rescue the girl. The bit about his magic not maybe working? Could have been put in as they're about to attack. The bit about Eragon not wanting to eat meat, could be shown later.

Paolini has learned how to show, but he shows too much and in the wrong places.



Drinks: 50 & 1 bottle