After our five pages of monologing Sushi addresses Sister by calling her Sister. She's very worried about Triscuit's twin. Sister actually doesn't do anything or protest. She just goes with some of the Minions very meekly. Of course Triscuit does the whole "NOOOOO" And flinging himself at the Evil Woman before getting smacked down by Sludge and being told that his death is going to be slow and miserable. As opposed to... what? They were already going to kill them horribly...now they're going to kill them... more horribly?

Sushi tells the minions that they've got two days to rape and pillage. And anyone else gets left behind. If I was a minion, I'd sure want to get left behind. So, they're going to kill daddy and then in one of the most stupidly cliche things you can do, Sludge hands Triscuit his sword and says,


"I shall grant you a choice," Kluge said. "You man either behead the king right now, with one swift, merciful swing, or you may stand aside and watch me take him apart slowly, piece by piece."


Triscuit angsts.

He does this a lot.

Daddy tells him to shut up and behead him already. For the good of their people. Just shut up and behead him. Triscuit listens to him. Isn't it nice that kids are listening to their parents these days?

Triscuit beheads daddy and then attacks Sludge. Not before. Not when he first got the sword. But AFTER he beheads daddy does he attack.

"YOU MADE ME KILL MY FATHER, YOU BASTARD!"

Lovely set of priorities we've got going here. It amazes me how many of these Stu's have such screwed up priorities.

Either that or Triscuit really does want to get it on with his mom. Knowing this book, any thing's possible.

Okay, now that just depressed me.

Sludge beats Triscuit some more and then ties him up in chains. Triscuit makes Dire Proclamation #6. "I will kill you one day".

To continue to show how evil these obviously evil people are, because you know, we need to be constantly reminded of how evil they are least we forget that they are evil, Sludge strings the heads of the five wizards, Fredrick and daddy together on a rope, by using a dagger for a needle.

Apparently heads on pikes is so cliche nowadays.

Triscuit flashes back to when Earwig told him to stay on the Dais and wonders if he had listened to the wizard things would have been different. Dunno. But he angsts about it anyway.

Finally Kluge takes Mommy, rips off her shirt and tosses her to be raped by the Minions saying that they can show her and all the other wingless women how a real man does it. Yes. It actually says that.

Sludge then goes over to Triscuit and tells him that he's going to start cutting off pieces. But Earwig touches him and his entire world turns blue, sorry, azure and he wonders if this is what death is like.

Well, they always say that an orgasm is like a little death...

*coughs*